He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
as a side note pls kill me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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