so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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