no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
