Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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