I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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