Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
