Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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