would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
