so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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