you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
