This girl is more easily done than said...
this just has baby written all over it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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