Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
