She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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