belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
