your thong is hanging out like whoa
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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