You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize