Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
