4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sext me about skeletons
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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