I hate all girls vehemently.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
