a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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