Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The Olympian is in my bed
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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