I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
