At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
