I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
