tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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