you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
