Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
