This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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