Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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