hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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