They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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