hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
