You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
