it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
