i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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