i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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