maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize