it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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