just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
