he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
