does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has the fingertips of a God
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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