He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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