and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
