I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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