Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
