the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
