TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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