That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
