I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
