is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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