she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
drinking out of a sandbucket again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
