My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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