you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
