I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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