I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
