i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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