erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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