i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
