this boner is exhausting
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
